http://khammoun.deviantart.com/


please look me up!!! am i really that bad?  :((
im sick of being left out in the dust like that!!!  just, give me a looky, ok? :-*

backstreet boys, for sure.  it was my first concert ever, i was 9 because it was for my 9th birthday present, that's what we did.  it was fab, i loved them sooo much at the time and it was a great show.  you know the kind, stadium seats, flashing lights and dry ice.

another one I went to was My Chemical Romance at Madison Square Guarden, which was my first REAL rock concert and i was actually a teen by that time.  it was pretty amazing, and honestly when I heard Gerard's voice, at first i was like, WTF who the hell is singing for Gerard?!!  POSER!!!  but then i listened more and more; the music kept going and I could finally see who was on the stage.  about half way through the second song i realized why people compared his voice to an angle's.  It was other worldly and i fell in love with them all over again.

another first was in the pit at a Boys Like Girls concert.  this show was absolute madness because there were screaming tweens there to see Metro station alone and my friend and i were DETERMINED to get to the front before The Maine ended their set.  Well, we got there, but I almost died and i was covered in sweat that certainly was not my own.... but it was quite the enjoyably learning experience.  I'm looking forward to being in the pit again.  Being that close to someone performing is like stanging next to a fire, it makes you burn :)  i love being that close to artists at work.  (plus BLG guys were REALLY hotttt ;D)

not really a concert, but when the music department went to see The Phantom of the Opera, I was in awe.  I almost peed my pants watching that and I cried at the end. only a little, but i still teared up.  My BF at the time was like, "you're nutts" because ive been obsessed with it ever since.  well, i've calmed down about it quite a bit, but i'm still in love with both Raoul and the Phantom.  it was like angelic voices playing games with my heart all over again.  :')


Well, hopefully i'll have more amazing experiences in the near and far future.

Next week is spirit week and we all know what that means!!!  I get to wear PJs to school and wear orange and black, and wear an evening gown that is waaaay too classy for this town, and dress up like i belong in the 80's and all that jazz.  (i know, that was only 4 days, i dont remember tuesday's theme.  :P)

then there's homecoming!!!  I'll have to put up with my rapid crazy EX, but it's only for one more year and maybe he'll graduate early and it'll only be half of a year.  That would be quite the blessing if you ask me.  :)  anyway, there's the parade that I have to march in (with a broken clarinet, mind you.  also mind you that i now play bassoon, not clarinet, but it's super hard to march with a bassoon, try it some time.) and i have to play pep band in the game, and be cold and freeze my bum off, then i have to get showered, and get dussied up to go to the dance with no one but myself.  :(  I know what you're thinking, "if you dont want to go stagggggg, ask some cute boy to go with you!!"  well, i did, and he didn't give me a straight answer, so now i'm forced to wait until he confirms my denial so i can ask someone else.  i dont have the gutts to ask him about it again, so i guess im going alone... again... i havent done this since freshman year, but that might not be a bad thing, seeing as how i pretty much left the dance with a boyfriend on my hip.  :-P  ohh, the bravery.... i miss being brave.  i miss being out of the dog house.

Why did i have to date a guy who's friends with every other cute guy in my school?  it makes it very hard to find a guy after "virgil" has dated me. :(  and the guy that i actually like (not the one i asked to the dance, mind you) asked one of my best friends to the dance instead of me. :'''(  I am QUITE put out... she's really pretty too: long blond hair, big boobs. (understatement: huge tits.) aaaaaand that's everything im not.  I'm quite pathetic, actually.  I hate that he doesn't like me, i really dont know why he wont date me. :(  probably the same reason i wont date this one guy, but that's a different story, he is WAAAAAAY too old for me and im not ready for that type of commitment.  he's looking for a wedding: i. am. not.   But the guy i like is so frustrating, i wish he would just see the light. :(  :(  or maybe that other guy that i asked to homecoming, he's cute and i wouldnt mind dating him.  but he's a little immature.  Hey, im a goof, we'd hit it off great. :P

well.... what can a girl do. -_-  i'm left to wait for the day that i finally leave this god forsaken town and this ruthless school that i call HEll....  it's really quite infuriating when you cant stand your friends anymore...




Oh, and that's something all in itself!!!  my friends are totally getting on my nerves, they jsut dont know when to stop!!!  enough is enough already!!! leave me alone!!!  DX 








god, i love my life...

welcome to another depilitating installment of khammoun's rant journal!!  *cue falseto screams of agony*

...life is... well, there are no words for life.  i just wish mine wasn't so weird right now.  I'm not happy, im not sad, i'm just weird.
I dont really want to talk to my friends anymore, because the ones that I liked are all off to like, college, and Im not... so yeah.

i talked to the evi-- nope, im not supposed to call him that anymore... i talked to 'Virgil' today.  well, more like... a half hour or so on AIM.  weird.  very brief.  left me in a very weird mood.  I'm forcing myself to forgive the git for some reason.  I was listening to Katy Perry on the radio today and some line...... what was it? "spare me your freaking dirty looks, now don't blame me"  I'm not sure why, but that made me go "hey.  my mommy says that I should just forgive people, it's like a weight being lifted off your shoulders" so i guess i did.  it wasn't really... liberating, so to speak, but it was weird.  'Virgil' hasn't been on AIM in about.... well... weeks?  i dont really know since i havnt really been on it either, so i couldn't judge.  But he was on.  and i had just 'forgiven' him in my mind, so i was like, "sure, why dont i talk to him."  It seemed like a really stupid idea at the time and it still seems like an increda-bad decision to make, but i did it anyway.  i kinda want to jump off a bridge now.

I had seen him at a party i was at last night and caught him staring at me.  i dont know if it was just my imagination or not, but it was there in my mind.  I forgot about it further into the night because i honestly didn't want to be around the git at the time.  (i hadnt had my revelation yet) But he was quite quiet, not that it's anything different from what he used to be.  Well, right after we broke up, he was extremely loud and obnoxious, which was really weird for him and didn't help my nerves at all.  I pointedly didnt look at him the whole night.  if i ever glanced his way, it was accidental and it made me feel like shit.  i really hate being around him.  I heard his friend tell him to 'just ask her' something, but i dont know what it was or what it was about,   it was probably about some weird circumstance, like asking my best friend out or something.

I feel very betrayed that she's talking to him....

I'm not the sort of person to restrict who my friends talk to, but she could honestly talk to anyone else... why does she have to talk to him?  when i go on her facebook, i see that she's haveing conversations with him, and I honestly want to punch her.  He is the only person to ever bring physical violence to the front of my mind just for his name to be mentioned in conversation.  it really sucks too, because his real name is actually not normal, but it's extreamly close to very average names, like brendan, or michael.  very normal names...  so i have friends with names that are close to his name and when i hear their name, not his, i get angry.  and i want to hit shit.  it's extremely unhealthy for me, and I need to get over it if i'm going to 'forgive' the S.O.B.

hemm hemm....
in other news, I'm going to see blink 182, weezer, and taking back sunday tomorrow.  It's a great time.  lawn seats, but hey.  i'll be there.  maybe i'll pick up a dude while i'm there. :)  haha, probably while blink is playing girl at the rock show.  "i'llllllll neveeeeeeeeeeeerr, forgeeeeet youuuuuuuu!"

pfft.

i have my first soccer game on tuesday.  right after a rock show.   funny, right?  yeah.  Well, my life is funny.  and weird...

i refuse to read the 7th, but the parts that I did read were really awesome, like the very last battle. it was awesome, I cant wait for them to turn that into a movie, but the sixth book was my favorite. It's also my favorite movie. :)

Ohhh, the 3rd one was really good too, that was my favorite before I read the 6th, but yeah, opinions change. She really starts to develope the darker side when she starts the 5th book, but the sixth developes my favorite character, draco, so that's pretty much why I like it. Kinda because he was suffering soooo much, but Im not a sadist, it's just that it's really the only way for someone to show that an "evil" character is actually a human being that makes choices and suffers for them just like the rest of us. :-P

well, yerah. :)

There's not much going on this summer.

Im not sure exactly why i keep this journal, since i mostly use this for feedback anyway. Maybe it's because you cant read certain fics unless you're a member... hmmm, yeah, that ws it.

I currently have a raging headache, i think it's from overstressing. my brain is starting to give out. things are pretty mellow where im at, except for the facts that it keeps raining, my personal life is pretty shitty, and people keep losing their lives to this odd thing called coincidence. I hate that thing. it haunts me where ever i go in the form of my ex-boyfriend.

Oh, an update on that: he's an arogent jerk and he thinks he's doing me a favor because he thinks I'll fall in love with him. hmm. I think not. If he got anywhere near me (alone) i would seriously bash his face in with a crowbar. I like crowbars. I think his face could use the improvement.

Good day, so long, Im driving for the first time.

ok so my BF broke up with me about 2 months ago and he's such a dick.
he wont talk to me for some weird reason that I cant fathom and i didnt do anything wrong.
his reason for breaking up was because we were "growing apart." that was about 2 weeks before prom.
he went with one of the biggest "flirts" in school.

I kinda really hate him.

if he would just talk to me, everything would be fine, but i have no closure, so i cant help but stew on it because Im a Cancer, and that's what we do.

Oh, yeah, and since my birthday was on the 24th, he ruined that too, because he has to be the biggest dick and end up RIGHT OUTSIDE MY MOTHER FUCKING HOUSE AT MY PARTY.

I could kill him right now. "Virgil" has gotta die or else. It's only for my mental health, I swear.'


In other news, my new crush (who i almost liked before i started dating "virgil") doesnt like me. he says that he does, but he's too big of a pansy to do anything about it. so it doesnt count because what's the fun in that?

God, i hate boys. I'll stick to slash, thank you very much, since boys obviously cant function properly unless they're fictional characters. :-P


WOOOO!!!! besides the point, i got a new laptop for my birthday so FUCK YES!!! haha, bitches!!!
ok, im done.


pffft, happy motherfuckin birthday to me!!!



ps...i only listen to mcr when i angst... it helps.

i take really long showers and leave my cell phone & ipod charger plugged in... :)

Chyna Ly June 14, 2009
Gym essay Choice topic A block

Gym Class or Physical Education has changed a lot over the years. Students and teachers have both molded to a changing society, and I’m not sure if it is for the better. Gym is not about writing. The past generation got along just fine without doing “gym essays”. We get enough essays from our core classes, such as English or Social Studies. We even have to do lab reports in Bio class. The only classes that do not require English are Math and Physical Education.

If a student is running and doing what they are supposed to be doing in class, then they should get a great grade. If a student is active in a sport, I don’t think that they should be required to take PE class. One might want to take it for an easy grade, but someone might be able to use that block for something more productive, like a math course or an elective such as art or music. It’s all good and dandy that we are running around and playing sports, but some people just don’t care about that sort of thing.

I guess I’m just tired of writing these gym essays. We get the same topics ever year and it’s very easy to run out of things to write about. I’m not at all interested in the sports world like some people in this school, so I have nothing to write about. I pay more attention to the underground music world. I don’t have a favorite basketball team, but I could give you an entire biography on the members of My Chemical Romance, each and every one of them. There’s no way that I could tell you what is going on at a football game, or the season record for a soccer team, but I could sing you the lyrics of every All-American Reject’s song ever written!! There is nothing interesting about the sports world for me, so I lose all interest in what I’m writing, and therefore, I have no drive to look up information needed to pass. I also have no basis for a possible topic. Marshmallows could be a great topic of choice for me, but not hockey. I just don’t care about sports.

Works Cited:
My own knowledge and opinions

Chyna Ly
“Dirty Hand and Macbeth Project”
Revision #3

The passages from “The Dirty Hand” and Macbeth both have a common theme of guilt. This theme is central in both works and is present in the entirety of them both. The theme of guilt presents itself in multiple aspects of the passages and creates many connections between the two. Both works use hands as symbols for a character’s conscience and in both passages, the hands are tainted in some way or another. Both characters from each passage want to get rid of their guilt but cannot and therefore are forced to hide their guilt.
In “The Dirty Hand” the character says that he “used to keep it/ out of sight/ in my pocket.” He hid his dirty hand in his pocket in an attempt to hide his guilt. Lady Macbeth, from the Macbeth excerpt, thinks to cover her hands’ stench with “All the perfumes of Arabia,” but she apparently does not think this would work as she continues to say that they, “will not sweeten this little hand.” This wish to eliminate the guilt which is felt is also seen in “The Dirty Hand” as the character expresses his wish to cut off his tainted hand.
The actual guilt on the hands is portrayed differently in both works. In “The Dirty Hand,” guilt is portrayed as “a dull grayish dirt” on the characters hand while in “Macbeth” the guilt is blood on Lady Macbeth’s hands. The visual blood later seems less important as the blood (guilt) is cleaned away (a representation of covering up the guilty deed), however she states, “Here’s the stench of blood still,” showing the guilt continues to linger as an odor. Comparatively the character in “The Dirty Hand” also was incapable of ridding himself of guilt. Regardless of the form, the guilt took into the passages it is clear that both heavily used symbolism to install it.
Both works use imagery to enhance how guilty the characters feel and a first person point of view to make the passages seem more personal. The difference between the two is that in “The Dirty Hand,” the protagonist is more visual with how his guilty hand looks at the moment, (“It is not mud or soot/ or the caked filth/ of an old scab”) while Lady Macbeth describes a stench (“…Here’s the smell of blood still.”) to appeal to the sense of smell. Lady Macbeth goes into depth with the actual events that make her guilty. (“The Thane of Fife had a wife…”) “The Dirty Hand” never states why the protagonist is guilty; it simply uses imagery to advance the point of guilt.
In the “Macbeth” excerpt, Lady Macbeth tells her husband to “give me your hand” which could be interpreted as her taking on not only her own conscience but her husband’s as well. In this sense, “The Dirty Hand” differs from the excerpt in that the protagonist wishes to cut off his hand, guilt, conscience and all, chop it up and throw it away. He then wishes to gain a new hand, or conscience, in my opinion. In both of the characters’ attempts to remove their guilt hyperbole is used often to display the idea, such as “The Dirty Hand’s” portrayal of self mutilation.
It is very ironic that Lady Macbeth would tell her husband not to worry while she’s feeling so guilty that she is smelling blood. She wasn’t even the one to drop the dagger into the King’s chest. Lady Macbeth must have felt responsible for everything her husband had done, especially if she told him to give her his conscience.
Though both characters wish to undo their wrongs, they both understand that nothing can be done about it. “What’s done cannot be undone,” according to Lady Macbeth. The character of “The Dirty Hand” realizes this when he states, “And then I realized/it was the same/if it was used or not/Disgust was the same,” meaning he realized that despite any efforts to hide his guilty hand it would haunt him regardless.
Overall, both passages are about guilt and the character’s need to rid themselves of it. In the end, I do not believe that either person could live with him/herself very long without taking steps to make amends for their deeds. If one can smell blood on one’s hands after all of Arabia’s perfumes have been spritzed upon them, one will need therapy and a cup of hot chocolate to sooth oneself.

I find it ironic that my icon is usually that smile picture, when almost ALL of my entries are moody and bitchy, and maybe just a little bit emo. Yeah. Ironic. Right.

Well, I have an English project to do, so I think I might have to do that before the week is up, which means by Thursday, seeing as how I'm leaving to see the All American Rejects!! Wooo!!

I've just noticed that I am a real bitch when I have nothing to look forward to and when I'm being bitched at. I'm a very fungshue(?) sort of person I guess. Calm creates calm in my life, but when you give me a small dose of humor I expand on it and multiply that type of energy by 100. :)

So, if you are wondering, NO, I am NOT this bitchy and dull in real life. I will crawl into your lap for no reason except that I'm cold and I want your body heat. :)


Nooooowwww....
I want to follow my dream to be a performer. I love being on stage, because I am a ham and I feel extreamly comfortable on stage. I may feel like I have to pee when I first go on, but that feeling leaves after a while.

These are the things that people think that I should be when I grow up:
artist
comic book artist
stage artist
fasion designer
model, as in Model Model, as in I'm too short to consider it
Broadway performer
Rock Star (no, I would not mind that at all :D but I need connections, desperatly...T_T)
Actress, as in Hollywood.

No, I would not mind any of those.
Most people used to say that I should be an artist, but now that I've gone through the musical, people have been saying that I should be an actress or a broadway star. I don't know which one I want to do more, but I now know that I want to follow my dreams and go after one. I just need help figuring out which one I should follow. :P

why are they so hard on your patience?! They must think, Oh, that's my sister, so she'll love me anyway. No. I will not love you if you use and abuse me. >:( I am not a dog.

I will forgive you faster than I would forgive a friend because we live in the same house, but I must say, Enough is Enough.

Why dont people understand that you are not supposed to abuse your family? Why do people think that they can be bitchy to their brothers and sisters like they're second class citizens??

No more. Family is family. Be happy you have one and stop treating your FAMILY LIKE IT IS DIRT. We probably care more about you than any of your friends, and if that is not so, then your friends are your family.

I don't even know where this rant came from, but I am SO sick of my sister being bitchy just because she has her period. it's stupid. And I know, when people complain about people being bitchy it makes them look like hypocrites, but that is not the case. There was something to trigger the complaining, as when someone being BItchy JUST DOES'T HAVE A REASON.

I Sometimes wonder how many people have my picture saved onto their computer. I'm pretty careless about what I put on my personal sites, so that could be an issue. People usually never ask me when they put up a picture of me.

It's really gonna suck when a potential employer does a background check and finds that I'm a nut case who reads fan fiction and finds a picture of my teenaged self clad in a bakini, climbing on my friends and trying to play guitar hero at the same time. :I hmm. This could be an issue. I need to stop doing all this blogging and complaining and whatever. This really isn't all that anonymous. LOL I can't even spell right!!! XD go ahead, find my spelling errors. I blame everything on my iPod's spell checker!!

Now, I have to wonder. Why would someone have my picture on their computer? I'm not overly pretty, I don't have a sexy body (I have a fasion friendly body, thankyouverymuch) and I'm not famous, as far as I know. Who knows, I could have a small cult following in Thailand slowly saving money to visit me in America, BUT I WOULDNT KNOW!! :P no one has said anything to me about it. :I

I need to start doing crunches. My abs are sort of turning into one big muscle..

I have got to say that the Easter egg shaped resees cups are my total favorite. They must put something in those eggs, because they taste ten times better than normal resees cups.
:( I havnt had a single one this year...

YeAH!!! new emoticons! and they're all of... me... ewww... w/e, at least they're acurate. :)

k, well, off to shower and go to Tay Tay's house!! :D
I dont have a clue how to talk to that kid... :P

man, I would soooo be on American Idol. I would just be effing awesome. I might lay low at the beginning, but then aroung top 10 I would just effing bust out and kill it. as in kill it, I mean be the best for the rest of the comp. but then I would totally suck around the top 4 or 3 so they would vote me off so they don't ruin me. :)

Honestly, I think that that's Adam's strategy right now. It's not the 4th or 3rd round yet, but we'll see. ;)